My friend Monica Spees posted about body image issues today. She was really on point with how difficult it can be for women to deal with body weight issues.
It hit home for me, and I thought of what has been going on for me. I had an interview yesterday, and that is always a stressful time. First impressions mean a lot. When doing research online, one of the things you often run across is that women who wear makeup are thought to make better impressions, its expected, and they usually fair better with first impressions.
I do not wear makeup. I generally try to wear it to interviews anyways. Problem is, I have Blepharitis according to my doctor. I have always had issues with the skin under my eyes – constantly dark, and oddly wrinkled. Any time I brought it up with the doctor they would say it was an allergic reaction, or would give me a topical creme that didn’t seem to help. I never got a straight answer. Last year it started becoming worse, itching more often, becoming redder/darker and certainly reacting if I wore makeup for a special reason.
I brought it up with my new doctor, and he immediately told me it was that. It seems to fit. It’s awful. Can’t really be cured, except maybe with plastic surgery. So, yeah. Just have to deal. I had my last interview yesterday. My skin under my right eye was driving me bonkers. I couldn’t wear makeup, it would only make it much, much worse.
And it kills my self-confidence. Which is obviously an issue going into an interview. I think I overcame it. I can’t help. It’s not also something I can really explain in an interview. It’s depressing because it makes it look like I’m tired or never sleep. I hate it with a passion. Honestly, makeup doesn’t do a lot to cover it. Most people tell me they never notice it, but I know.
I have other body issues – certainly weight. However, I’ve made strides in accepting that. I have lost quite a bit of weight since having Xander two years ago, and actually weigh 15 pounds less than I did before I became pregnant. So that’s cool. Still have issues. Still not at 140 like I want to be. But it helps.
It’s sad that I feel like I need to wear makeup to make a good impression. It’s sad that we feel like we need rock hard abs, or perfect bodies. There is no such thing. I hope that we will move past this eventually and change the way we feel about women/media/etc.
Remember that you are beautiful! Accepting ourselves may be hard, but it’s an every day thing. The perfect number on the scale does not equal 100% Happiness. It might make us feel better overall, but being happy in other ways is just as important, if not more so.