A friend of mine requested that I talk more about me, my hubby/marriage and my adorable kid Xander (I’m bias, but trust me, all the people tell me he is adorable).
Soooo, here it goes.
I was set to go to a conference in Pikeville, KY – leave Sunday, work all day Monday and part of Tuesday. However, I had to cancel last minute because my car just wasn’t up to the drive, as it would be over 500 miles. So since I had time (we only have to work 10 hours a week currently this month for my position), I had planned on super cleaning. Turns out I made a good choice on canceling but on cleaning, as my son woke up with a fever Sunday, and Monday I woke up with a migraine, that went away and came back with a vengeance. So much so that right before my hubby was to wake up to go to work, I began vomiting everwhere in teh bathroom. Like, it was the second worst vomit experience of my life (the #1 being Xander puking all over both us in the bed in the middle of the night when he was 1). I won’t go in to more details than that.
Sean called in. He distracted Xander while I showered, and brought me some crackers as I collapsed into bed. Xander played with him for a bit but then kept saying “I want to sleep in bed” and came and went to sleep with me. Sean went and got Sprite, froze some so it would be cold when I woke up, and proceeded to take excellent care of the two of us the rest of the day. I won’t lie – some days I want to hit the man with a fyring pan, but its reasons like this why I love him so much. He made me soup, brought me snacks and kept the sprite coming. Plus, he kept Xander entertained, and taken care of. We watched America’s Got Talent, and I read/listened to a book and watched some NCIS.
So today, when I woke up feeling much better, I started tackling cleaning. But Xander wanted to go outside and play. And I made the choice. Cleaning can wait.
I made the right decision. And to most of you, this probably sounds like a “duh” decision. Sadly it isn’t, most of the time. Once you become a parent, you become overwhelmed with the amount of advice you receive. From people who know you, people who don’t, the internet, tv shows, movies, books… etc. It is NEVER ENDING. And often, what you see, is that perfectly cleaned house, no matter if the mom/dad works, and has multiple kids.
Its a LIE! Okay, maybe not. Some people can do it. I’m not one of them. I have a toddler, a dog, two cats, and tons of stuff. I’m working on decluttering, but lord help that’s just making more of a mess. And I LIKE to clean. But if it is clean, or spend time with Xander? I pick Xander.
Those winning smiles declare me winning. So let me say this – asking for advice is fine. Be happy. Make your kids happy. Strive for perfection if you want but remember it probably doesn’t exist. Ignore the naysayers, and the craziness and the negativity. And when you walk in my house? Remember the laughter, and the happiness that I’m surrounded with. Forgive me the cereal that I probably swept up last night but was re spilled that morning and I haven’t got to clean. Forgive the dishes (Hey, I’m keeping it down to a few), the general mess, all the toys and clutter. It doesn’t help that I have boxes and boxes of yard sale stuff sitting about, and we are getting rid of our storage unit and having to go through my late mother-in-law’s things.
It’s a mess. I’m living my life. I have a job, a husband, a toddler, I write, I tutor, and so many other things. I learned one of the most important lessons possible in my graduate classes: self-care keeps you going. You can’t change the world if there is nothing of you left. I cannot be there for my kid, if I there is nothing of me left.
So, quit judging. Unless you want to help me clean (or have a vacuum anyone?), keep it to yourself.
Let’s quit judging each other. We used to be a village. What happened to that?